Fighting Drought With Science!

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Weather you believe in Global Warming or are just Republican (Originally a typo but I kept it); it’s a serious issue facing the world.

Animals are going insane and changing their bio-chemistry and habits just to survive! Animals are disrupting their own hibernation and hump periods just to beat the changing climate; others like the majestic coral reef are changing their body structure to be able to consume their quickly diminishing food source.


Alright Guys. We're Moving To Canada. Land of Poutine And Eh?
Alright Guys. We’re Moving To Canada. Land of Poutine And Eh?

 

Oh and Global Warming is the leading cause of Apocalypse Scenario 5: Death From Below (AKA The Next Roland Emmerich Movie) where we are murdered in our sleep by massive jellyfish.

Also, they’re basically Highlanders.

Humans are not so lucky; we have a wonderful trait of blaming problems on others instead of changing our own way of living. Luckily, we have people who are creating new ways to fight back against our resultant crisis of environmental middle-fingery.

Behold Atmospheric Water Harvesting; It’s basically a way to trap water molecules in the air and condensing to into filtered, potable water. It’s a tech used by the UN to aid countries that already have a hard time due to harsh conditions such as Ethiopia, Guatemala, Nepal, Chile and Morocco. Aqua Sciences has created a water harvester the size of Optimus Prime that can produce up to 2,600 Galloons of water a day(pending atmospheric conditions). It’s perfect for recreating SeaWorld in your local trailer park.

You too can get free (pending twisty-Twilight Zone-y-result) water from the cloud goddess(es) too! Just buy it on Amazon!


 


But, we’re not all Optimus-Prime-mecha-building-science smart, so I’ll use my sage-like wisdom to impart water saving wisdom to those who are concerned aboot the drought/global warming (or still reading this article).

1. Don’t let water run. Use a pan/basin plug for hand-washing and washing dishes. Limit shower-time by setting a five-minute timer (AVG Showerhead = 5Gallons/Minute). Also, dry-lather; soap is soap, it’s chemical composition is enough to not need a pre-soak.

2. Replace plumbing/water-connected machines with high-efficiency version. Toilets, Shower-heads, Dish Washers, Washing Machines. You can claim tax credits on this stuff and get $$$.

3. Grow plants/trees/grass local to the environment or is drought resistant. You can claim tax credits on this stuff too $$$.

4. Water leaks are common at home. Replace old plumbing ASAP. It’ll save money and Pandas in China. Do you hate Pandas?

5. Don’t toss out old food/bio-degradable stuffs. COMPOST DAT SHIZZ. Get a bin. Fill it. Plant Avocados. Enjoy planet nurturing Tacos. I just turned trash into Tacos. Beat that Taco Bell….. On second thought, please don’t.

 


 

The Onion Beat Me To This Joke.
The Onion Beat Me To This Joke.

 

Maybe we should think more intensively about how to help the environment from our bad roommate habits by taking an Environmental Science class or two, or invent a robot that helps to eliminate the human element from the environment(no deathbots).

No, really. I’m serious.

Go learn your ass some science. Now.

Here are a few sites to get a free education on Robotics and Environmental Science:

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Robotics Courses

Academic Earth

Robotics for Beginners

Open Culture

Open University

Annenberg Learner

HippoCampus

Learners.tv

Open2Study

I’m Like The Reading Rainbow of Science.

I Really Wish I Took Better Profile Pics
I Really Wish I Took Better Profile Pics